Please, Forgive Me If I pass

“Stoping hating me.
Yesterday you liked me just fine.
Today, I trusted you with my thoughts.
Stop hating me you, little dictator.
I’m not a traitor.
Nor will I cater your cries.
What, you want me to lie?
To agree with everything about your life.
I didn’t know you wanted me to be you.
Let’s start cloning the world with your mind.
So no one can ever again deny your essence.
We’ll caress your face and get lost in a bliss.
We promise to never disagree, to never think again.
We’ll have your strengths and your weaknesses.
Perhaps the world will be a better place–
Or maybe its ultimate destruction.
We’ll never know until you clone us all.
Copy and paste, Copy and paste.
Until you make us to your image.
We’ll be you, and you will be us.
What kind o f person wants this?
But there’s only one God.
And I don’t think it’s you.
So, please, forgive me if I pass–
To take my shield and stance.” ~Anaprose

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Lorde’s “Liability” Song

Hello, all! I just wanted to share this song by Lorde, “Liability.” She’s only 20 years old, but I like her music a lot. And I love her new singles, the other one is “Greenlight”]. But “Liability” is a beautiful and a sad song. I’ve listened to it several times now and will continue to do so.  Besides all the other emotions, it sounds like an introvert’s song. What say you? Do you agree? I posted both the lyrics and the Youtube links below this message. Enjoy! I hope you like it. 🙂

“Liability”

One, two

Baby really hurt me
Crying in the taxi
He don’t wanna know me
Says he made the big mistake of dancing in my storm
Says it was poison
So I guess I’ll go home
Into the arms of the girl that I love
The only love I haven’t screwed up
She’s so hard to please
But she’s a forest fire
I do my best to meet her demands
Play at romance, we slow dance
In the living room, but all that a stranger would see
Is one girl swaying alone
Stroking her cheek

They say, “You’re a little much for me
You’re a liability
You’re a little much for me”
So they pull back, make other plans
I understand, I’m a liability
Get you wild, make you leave
I’m a little much for
E-a-na-na-na, everyone

The truth is I am a toy
That people enjoy
‘Til all of the tricks don’t work anymore
And then they are bored of me
I know that it’s exciting
Running through the night, but
Every perfect summer’s
Eating me alive until you’re gone
Better on my own

They say, “You’re a little much for me
You’re a liability
You’re a little much for me”
So they pull back, make other plans
I understand, I’m a liability
Get you wild, make you leave
I’m a little much for
E-a-na-na-na, everyone

They’re gonna watch me
Disappear into the sun
You’re all gonna watch me
Disappear into the sun

Writers, Be Thankful for Bad Things

 

Hello there everyone. I hope you’re surviving this chaotic world! Speaking of which, I have been thinking a lot about the chaos of this world. I’m sure most of us are on board on this, or is it just me? I don’t think so.

I’ve been writing a lot, a lot. That made me remember about a professor in the creative writing program at UC Irvine. He said that writers should be thankful for the bad things that happen in their life. He chuckled at his statement while the whole class stared at him with a blank expression. Besides our personal struggles, we also have to cope with the madness of this world. According to his [my professor’s] philosophy, if you’re a writer, you have plenty to write about, right? Of course.

As I write my short stories or my fiction novel, I realize the terrible moments and feelings are the ones I can express and connect with the most. They don’t have to necessarily be my terrible personal problems because the characters slowly begin to have their own life of struggles. Striking the keyboard in a rapid manner as I leave behind typos and mostly nonsense made me wonder, what is it about chaotic stories/characters that we like so much? It’s as if writers secretly like bad things to happen so that we have something to write about on our blank screens–so the little black letters appear like inkblots without meaning hoping they make sense at some point.meteorite-1060886_1920

According to Robert McKee, human beings need to tell stories to make sense out of the chaos we live in and to keep civilization moving forward. It makes me think if I’m subconsciously giddy about chaos. I certainly hope not because that’s insane. But aren’t we all a little mad? Joyce Carol Oates explains similar ideas about writing like McKee. She states that most people write to communicate. We also write to find meaning– “to understand ourselves and to understand the world.”

Certainly, we see a clear pattern of this so-called CHAOTIC writing. Ironically, writing is in itself a big mess–as Jenna Moreci puts it, “thought dumping” [brainstorming stage], editing, and revising so that the story makes sense. MAKE SENSE, MAKE SENSE all over the place. See, we love CHAOS all around. So why do we do it? Why do you write?

I personally feel that any time I write anything, even if it’s crap, it’s a therapeutic process. Purging terrible ideas and writing is quite comforting as well because that leads me to write better and to improve. Without doubt, writing is a multi-faceted experience.

 

I posted two links on today’s blog. And the third one is on outlining by Jenna Moreci. I hope they are useful for you in one way or another. Thanks, and have an awesome chaotic…just kidding. Have a good day or night.

http://bigthink.com/videos/joyce-carol-oates-on-writing

http://bigthink.com/videos/writers-make-sense-out-of-chaos

Warning: Jenna Moreci cusses a lot. lol But I love her channel, and she’s awesome.

 

 

 

 

Facebook Page

Hello, all. Hope you’re surviving. I have a new Facebook page. I mainly created it to dedicate the page to writing and to leave politic topics out of it. I’m a writer, and I’d like to concentrate on that. Also, I’ll have the opportunity to communicate with people easily if you wish to chat about writing. Here’s the link: https://www.facebook.com/anaprose2016

What Writers like T.S Elliot Do To US

I want to write about what I read in class this week because it made me think about my story and character that I am currently working on. We read The Cocktail Party by T.S Elliot. It’s a lot more complicated than this, but story short; it’s about a couple who cheats on each other. She’s bored of him, and he is just used to her and not sure he loves her.  He doesn’t mind such relationship, and she wants to move on—but instead of doing so, she “cheats” on him. However, he certainly cheats. The couple is involved in all types of lies. They lie to their friends. They lie to each other. They lie to some “random person” unnamed person who turns our to be an important character. They also have other lies underneath the surface that they don’t even know about, so they lie to their own self. The “random” and unnamed character attempts to guide them to the right path. This Unnamed person, who does have a name eventually, tells them the following:

And now you begin to see, I hope,

How much you have in common.

A man who finds himself incapable of loving

And a woman who finds that no man love can love her. (T.S Elliot 125)

The husband requests this random person to send him to the sanatorium for some alone time, and the wife does the same. The random person replies:

If I had sent either of you to the sanatorium

In the state in which you came to me—I tell you this:

It would have been a horror beyond your imagining,

For you would have been left with what you brought with you:

The shadow of desires of desires. A prey

To the devils who arrive at their plenitude of power

When they have you to themselves. (126)

Wow, this is a powerful statement because he implies that neither the wife nor husband is capable of being alone. On their own, they are a complete mess, and that explains the dysfunctional marriage. So, what did we conclude? (I won’t spoil the ending in case you haven’t read it). The couple needs to be part of a communion because a person will cease to exist if they confront human issues or sins on their own. They are no longer a person but a “thing.” We cannot achieve a spiritual communion with our fellow human beings without fellowship and being part of society—we all sin in one way or another anyway—either major or minor sins. That’s part of the conclusion to our discussion, not necessarily our opinions. Instead, it’s an analysis based on what we read along with other readings which add context to our conversation in class. Overall, I learned more about life with T.S Elliot, and this is precisely what these writers do to us. They make us think and learn.

Now, I want to move on to my character, Earth who copes with a lie—except these loved ones lied to her. She didn’t see this particular lie coming. But it hurts deeply, and it leaves her somewhat confused. What should she do? Confront them or just move on. Thinking about T.S Elliot’s story, The Cocktail Party, made me wonder about how my character should face this lie. It’s astonishing how writers, such as Elliot, can make a reader or writer think about their own life or characters—the more the reason to attempt to emulate such writers! But seriously, who can emulate Elliot.

Moving along! My character is an introverted business person who struggles with weight, and she aspires to be a poet. But she’s not necessarily a writer and lacks the experience. Nonetheless, she writes because this is the best way she can cope with the pain in general. So, I will share this poem written by my character, Earth (in progress). (It’s funny to think of her as an actual person.) 😀 She has yet to name the poem. I was thinking “Solitude & Lies” perhaps? Please, leave me your comments below this post!

“We all have those moments of solitude.

Perhaps at night when the silence and darkness whisper who we truly are.

When our heart and soul gaze into our eyes.

When the spirit of truth dances around our lie.

We may fool others. But we cannot delude ourselves.

We cannot deceive the Author of our life.

As we lie in our lie, it will tear our soul down little by little.

Our spirit will wail and ache until we find the way again—

Until we can see others in the eye without the veil of a lie.

Truth triumphs. But lies consume us.”

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Writing, My Ogre

This is a very short blog. The process of writing is difficult. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise because it requires a lot of critical thinking, making sense, and editing.

I recently re-read one of my first blogs, and it needed serious editing. I’m sure most of my blogs do. But that’s the part of writing, though, it cannot blossom into a perfect and beautiful creature until we write. In the meantime, it’ll most likely resemble an ogre.background-2032255_1920.jpg

If you’re any type of writer, trust me, you’re brave because writing peels our deeper emotions and imperfections. But we cannot perfect anything until we have around 10,000 hours of experience. That means, we need to write, write, and write. And we also need read, read, and read. It’s important to dedicate time to our craft, especially if it does not come naturally to us. Some are naturally great writers. But they are not you, so who cares. Every writer has a number of worlds to unleash, and it doesn’t have to be a talented writer to do so. What we can do is work on our craft to unleash these stories to the world.

I will paste a list of a few books that pertain to writing creatively, such as, how to write an effective dialogue, how to start a novel, and how to reveal information about a character without dumping everything on your reader, narration so and so forth. I need to re-read these too. This is also one of my recent assignments that I turned in for one of my classes. I hope it can help you too.

 

Bibliography

Baxter, Charles. The Art of Subtext: Beyond the Plot. Minneapolis: Grayworld Press, 2007.

Carlson, Ron. Ron Carlson Writes a Story: From the first glimmer of an idea to the final sentence. Minneapolis: Graywolf Press, 2007.

Freud, Sigmund. The Uncanny. New York: Penguin Classics, 2003.

Gilbert, Elizabeth. Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear. New York: Penguin Random House, 2015.

Kafka, Franz. The Metamorphosis and Other Stories. Ed. Jason Baker. New York: Barnes and Noble, Inc., 2003.

Lamott, Anne. Bird by Bird. New York: First Anchor Books Edition, 1994.

Wood, James. How Fiction Works. New York: Picador, 2008.

 

 

Friendship, Earth

Hello, everyone. I hope you’re all surviving all this world’s madness.

So I am rewriting chapters of my “fantasy novel,” once again. It needs a lot of editing. My goal is to work on a chapter a day, write 2,000 words for it, and edit it. That’s about 60,000 words in a month. At any rate, my character named, Earth, has a close friend, and they have a bit of conflict with their friendship. That made me think a lot about friendship and its purpose. When is it okay to keep a relationship and when to let go?

All along I thought that the definition of friendship was universal. But we all have our definition of what real friendships are, and that may be a bit of a problem. I’m the type of friend that makes time regardless of what I am be doing. If I’m reading a book, watching a good movie, out with my family, sleeping in the middle of the night, writing an important research paper, or if I am in class, I run to answer the phone to a friend—because I like to be present. teddy-2061222_1920

Friends come and go, and there are very few times in life where we have a real bond with a person. Unfortunately, most relationships change, and friends are instantly ready to let go of a friendship more often than a significant other. It doesn’t matter how much of an asshole (or bitch if it’s a woman) a guy has been for years; they will cling onto that like a tick.

As an introvert, it does take me time to accept someone in my life, but eventually, I do. I can make friends quickly. But at my age, I don’t have that high school mindset where I aspire to have tons of friends to feel popular—it just doesn’t work like that after your mid-twenties—and yet I won’t shy away from meeting new people since I’m not 100% of an introvert.

Friendships remind me of that movie Mean Girls. The character Casey, a new student, quickly builds a bond with Janis and Damien. They start this whole “partners in crime” to try to take out Regina and the other mean girls. However, at some point, Casey starts getting more involved with the mean girls or “the plastics,” and her friends begin to get frustrated. At some point, Casey plans her own agenda without them, and Janis and Damian demand an explanation from her. Now Casey doesn’t think she’s doing anything wrong. But it’s her friends who feel the change and rejection. danbo-1863378_1920

Naturally, Casey gets defensive and tells Janis “It’s like you’re in love with me—” a backstabbing move from Casey—because she knows the mean girls bullied Janis by expressing a similar idea. When your friend makes you feel like you’re obsessed with them because you are upset about their distance and change, it is not a good sign. Fortunately, the movie has a happy ending because Casey and everyone feel happy go lucky.

Further, have you heard that expression, “A strong friendship doesn’t need daily conversation or being together as long as the relationship lives in the heart, true friends never part?” You know what else lives in the heart? This might sound a bit exaggerating, but that’s the common phrase we think about when someone parts from this world, “She or he lives in your heart now.” Also, “true friends never part” is such a contradiction because how does that explain the absence of a friend? It doesn’t seem to make much sense.

Yes, people are busy. Yes, you don’t need constant communication with your friend on a daily basis. But if you give a friend space and more space, and they keep amplifying that space more and more each time, and they feel perfectly comfortable without you, then that’s telling you something.danbo-1865606_1920

If your friend lives in a different state or country, it’s understandable. But if you’re in the same city or around the corner from each other and can’t make time to catch a coffee at least once a week, then that’s not a good thing. We all make time for what we desire.

When a friendship ends, it doesn’t mean that either party is a bad person. Personally, I am not a petty, and I will never forget about the kind actions and memories. But if a friend is comfortable with me out of the picture, then I think the mature thing to do is let them move on. If they found a new relationship or something else that satisfies their life, then good for them.heart-2002762_1920

I also don’t believe that it’s fair to feel spiteful or angry toward them—that and it’s not positive sign to foster anger in your heart. So it’s best to respect the friendship and be honest to see where it stands. It will either break or become stronger.

I believe it works in a similar fashion for couples. If it’s no longer the same and they make you feel second or as the last part of their list, walk away. It’ll hurt in the short-term, but in the long-run, you’ll be thankful to yourself.

Do you agree? Feel free to disagree. Cheers!

 

A Few Bad Plays, One Extraordinary Game

I’m sure there are a lot of singles out there either annoyed or depressed. And yet others that couldn’t care any less. Me, yes, I am single. But it doesn’t bother me because  I am trying to stay focused on a couple of things. Even though it’s rather difficult, I try not to have control of too many things, especially since my life has been a bit chaotic for about half of a year.  Do I like it? Not really. Am I learning from it? Yes. Trials help us sort many things in life.

Do we sort these complex life events successfully during the storm? We probably don’t do it with a clear mind and hit a few bumps along the way. Relationships stiffen, your tummy welcomes binge eating, and every step we take feels as if we are carrying two other selves. Most people will not cater to this type of behavior. You push them out, and they gladly stay out of it because people don’t like problems.

We, humans, love happy! Some people cope just fine with people’s problems and walk every step of the way. But most people cannot handle such pressure. In spite of this “chaotic” moment, because everything is temporary, I can’t really say that my life is detrimental.

I learned something about chaos watching the Super Bowl. I am not a big fan of football. I’m more of a soccer fan. That means I don’t believe anything should get in the way of an important game. For the Super Bowl (Amazing half time by Lady Gaga by the way), I didn’t really have a favorite team. I thought, “Let the best team win.” Little did I know why people were so passionate about this particular game–the whole controversies that surrounded the Patriots.

By the third quarter, I wanted the Patriots to win, but I didn’t think, like most people, that they could win. I never imagined such a comeback. Wow! I witnessed, possibly, one of the best games ever–at least for me. Naturally, the victory trended on Twitter. I saw a meme that said, “Just because you had a few bad plays doesn’t mean you’ll lose the game.”

I think that’s how we’re supposed to approach life. Yes, it’s difficult. Also, as a writer, I need to fully embrace this dark cloud. I am not a big fan of what I call “hyper motivation,” which means that people have this irrealistic idea about life and like to say, “just be happy!”

Life can be tough. If you’re deep shit, you’re in trouble. End of matter. I can’t tell someone, “hey, you’re not in deep shit” when they actually are in big pile of…well you know the rest.

What I don’t agree is staying fallen and defeated. As difficult as it may be, we need to pick ourselves up–if you have friends or family willing to walk that path with you, even better. If not, then you have to be courageous on your own to push out of it. Have a few bad plays. But don’t lose the game.

I’m not an expert in love. But sometimes life follows the same patterns. A few bad relationships should not define the rest of your love life.

Here’s a short list of  the things I do to cope with stress:

  • Exercise
  • Play the guitar
  • Sing
  • Write
  • Read
  • Nap
  • Watch The Mindy Project or How I Met Your Mother

Below is the love of my life. Just kidding. Okay, I am not kidding. 😀 Who’s your celebrity crush? This time only, I’ll forgive you if it’s some Barcelona player. If you choose a Real Madrid player, we might become besties. 😉

 

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Cristiano Ronaldo

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why Do You Write?

Have you heard of “go with your gut instinct”? I always wondered about that phrase and if it had merit to it. The older of I’ve gotten, the more I realize the importance of listening to that gut instinct. I also love the phrase “go with your heart.” And when we have dreams, we might as well suit up with a heavy armor. We will have adversaries, opponents, and all kinds of obstacles in our path—some of those obstacles may be things out of our control or people—and they may manifest bluntly or in a subtle manner. There are more doubters than supporters along, through, and by our road. I understand that we need to logically think about things and be realistic,and that’s why I believe in having a backup plan. However, in many cases, you really should go with your gut instinct and heart.book-1816237_1920

We need to especially be attentive to those subtle obstacles because they break your spirit, and it’s best to reject them from your life. Further, for the sake of this argument, because we have exceptions to everything, you don’t die because someone doubts you. You don’t die because someone puts you down. You don’t die because someone insults you. They’re just words and harmless to some degree—unless you allow them to affect you. You don’t die because someone tells you no. You don’t die because someone rejects you. None of these feel right when they happen. But you will survive. Negativity helps us to sort out who is truly there for us. In this life, we must first believe in ourselves before others do.roosevelt

Whether you’re a writer, painter, singer, or a business person, you must work on your craft. Yes, maybe, there are others better than you/us, WHO CARES. We all have our own path. I’m walking on MY path, not that guy’s or gal’s. Due to nepotism or other affiliation, some people do have it easier, good for them. Pebbles or boulders in your pathway will make you stronger—as cheesy as it sounds, it’s true. I’ve been patronized, laughed at, belittled, ignored, doubted, insulted, rejected, and I don’t know what else I can add to the bunch…and guess what? I survived them all.

Growing up, I was never the favorite student or the most popular kid—that’s probably due to my introversion. People were polite, to some degree (because ignoring someone or keeping a person out of the in-group is a different type of bullying). Either which way, I learned to stand on my own. Of course, I will admit that I have met wonderful people willing to encourage and help me.

Whether it’s my introversion or something else, I have struggled to attain what I want, like many others out there, I’m sure. I continue to work on my craft which is writing. And my hope, above all, is not to become this New York bestseller or famous author. Great if it happens, though! I  mainly wish to inspire others through my writing. I rather try than not at all. Why do you write?

P.S

Welcome positive things and people to your dreams and goals, supportive people. Leave anything or anyone who is toxic to your life behind you.

 

 

 

What If… 

What if we were all blind? 

What if we were all mute? 

What if we were all deaf? 

What if there were no sides? 

What if there were no beliefs? 

What if everyone was right? 

What if everyone was wrong? 

What if we were all fighters?

What if we were all peacemakers? 

What if we were all angry? 

What if we were all happy? 

What if we were all clever? 

What if we are all dumb? 

What if we are all sincere? 

What if we were all hypocrites? 

What if we were all dead? 

What if we were all haters? 

What if we were all forgivers? 

What if we were all alive? 

What if we were all dead? 

What if we never existed? 

What of society? 

What of individuality? 

What if…