Please, Forgive Me If I pass

“Stoping hating me.
Yesterday you liked me just fine.
Today, I trusted you with my thoughts.
Stop hating me you, little dictator.
I’m not a traitor.
Nor will I cater your cries.
What, you want me to lie?
To agree with everything about your life.
I didn’t know you wanted me to be you.
Let’s start cloning the world with your mind.
So no one can ever again deny your essence.
We’ll caress your face and get lost in a bliss.
We promise to never disagree, to never think again.
We’ll have your strengths and your weaknesses.
Perhaps the world will be a better place–
Or maybe its ultimate destruction.
We’ll never know until you clone us all.
Copy and paste, Copy and paste.
Until you make us to your image.
We’ll be you, and you will be us.
What kind o f person wants this?
But there’s only one God.
And I don’t think it’s you.
So, please, forgive me if I pass–
To take my shield and stance.” ~Anaprose

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©Ana P. Rose & Anaprose 2017.

What’s Attractive? 

An Instagram post. 

©Ana P. Rose & Anaprose 2017.

Stranger Danger: Conflict & Silence

What does hate smell like? What does it sound like?

It smells like a gathering at a restaurant.

We smell the different foods and drinks on the menu—

We hear the sizzles of the food; the ingredients travel to our noses.

We listen to the clacking of the dishes.

We smile at the waitress—the only sincere conversation,

The only honest smiles.

You sit there knowing you should run to the door.

The eyes stare away from the disagreements of the lips—

Quickly, moving from one subject to the next.

Anything to fill in the long silences, and yet silence conquers—

To avoid the greater conflict at hand, a quiet disaster—

Conflict yells loudly in the subconscious—

And it’s conscious through the body language.

Guilty smiles, ignoring the contorted countenances.

The dead eyes sending a clear message of anger.

I try to focus on the guilty smiles here and there.

Waiting for the food to arrive, anxious to have a reason to agree.

Is the food good or bad?

I hope each bite, each sip fills in the gaps of the awful silence.

That silence yells, “This is the end. Don’t you see?”

Your gut instinct warns, “Danger, danger. Stranger Danger.”

And yet the adult mindset enduring it for the sake of saving face—

Or for the false pretense that we are good people.

We sacrifice, we endure, we are patient, we love.

“Stanger, danger.”

 

©Ana P. Rose & Anaprose 2017.

 

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Friday Song #10: “Lost Stars,” Begin Again

Hello, all:

Hope you’re having an amazing Friday and weekend overall. Here’s my song of the week, “Lost Stars” from the movie Begin Again, Keira Knightley’s version. Adam Levine also sings it, and I love both covers.  But I chose Keira’s version for this post. This is such a beautiful song just like that movie! One of my favorite movies besides Save the Last Dance, 10 Things I Hate About You, Clueless, and so many more. haha! Yes, I’m a 90’s kid.

Here are my favorite lines from this song:

And God tell us the reason youth is wasted on the young. It’s hunting season, and this lamb is on the run. Searching for meaning. But are we all lost stars trying to light up the dark.” 
Without further ado, here’s the Youtube video with lyrics. Tell me if you like it and the movie. 😀 Share your favorite songs too. 😀

 

Anaprose’s 100th Post

This is my 100th post. I have covered a variety of topics on introversion, writing, fears, political views, and or women’s issues. I also added Friday songs, in which I pick my favorite song of the week. I wrote a few writing prompts, and some of my own free verse work. I don’t consider myself a poet. I mainly write free verse to find my voice, practice writing, and to express my emotions or emotions of others. Not everything that I write reflects my feelings, but most of it does.

I’ve been awarded blogs from my fellow WordPress writers. I apologize if I have no been able to complete them all. I have had a busy year. (Not an excuse. But I am sorry)

I thank everyone who supports this blog in any way, especially sharing it on social media. It’s not difficult to hit like and share things over social media. But not a lot of people do it. So if you do, I am very thankful for it. And I understand it gets a bit more difficult once we obtain more followers because we have to keep up with hundreds, or thousands of bloggers for those of you who have that many followers.

During this time, I have linked my Instagram @chibi_roze, Twitter @anaprose, and a Facebook page @proseana. So feel free to look me up. I follow right back.

I also have several projects in progress. It was difficult to finish them sooner because I was in the process of obtaining my M.A in English degree. I’m finally done. I turned in an analytical/creative writing project, and it is in the process of publishing.

My main project, titled for the moment Phat Earth, Not Fat Earth, is now over 24,000 words, and I have 12 chapters. For the first draft, I had 60,000. But I started over and decided to take a different direction in the story, an urban fantasy.

I have to be honest, starting this blog has been the best choice for my writing because it helps me practice, improve, and keep focused. I may fall behind, but I must keep up with the projects, slowly but surely. The Anaprose blog has encouraged me to take myself and my writing overall more seriously and at the same time, not so seriously. I can write, make horrendous mistakes, and it’s all right. I’ll live.

Overall, I can’t believe I put up a blog! Thank you for reading this recap of my 100 posts. Have a great day/evening.

As always leave your comments below. You can also reach me on my Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, or email. I will get to your message eventually.

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©Ana P. Rose & Anaprose 2017.

The Wings

Her wings are larger than life.

Anxiety creeps in as she stares at them.

In front of the mirror, she sees her wings only partially.

When she takes flight, they have the sound of a helicopter.

It jolts people. They don’t like it.

So she tries to hide them.

But she can’t conceal her wings anymore.

Each day the feathers grow and shine more and more.

“What will I do?”

They used to be small enough to pretend they didn’t exist.

Easily hidden underneath all the fears.

Now her wings crowd and spoon those feelings.

With each flight off the ground, the wings drown the voices of the critics.

The doubters. The biters. The haters. The losers of their souls.

Each day, her wings grow even larger than her inner critic—

Oh the thought of the ripple effect.

“Will it be good? Will it be bad?

Can we ever kill that critic?

Maybe it’s my yin-yang

What will I do?”

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©Ana P. Rose & Anaprose 2017.

 

Friday Song #9: Rise, Simon Baum

Hello, everyone. I haven’t posted a Friday song in a few weeks. But here’s my choice for this week. As it reads in the title, it is “Rise” by Simon Baum. He is on Twitter @SimonBaumMusic ,and you can also find him on Spotify. I’ll post a youtube video of my favorite song. I hope you like it.

What’s your favorite song?

Scared, Facebook: @proseana

Hello, all. This is a quick blog pertaining to my new Facebook page. If you have a Facebook, please hit like on the link below this blog. It took me a while to create one because it scared me, all the “what ifs.” It happens every time. First, I thought about the WordPress blog a lot, almost religiously before launching it. I finally got the courage and created it, thinking negatively I must add.

Thank goodness, my thought process is much different now from a year ago. But fear creeps in like toxic air. I have a Twitter and an Instagram, so what’s the big deal, right?

The Facebook page bothered me because I had to pick a category. Mine, obviously, falls under the title of writer or author.  I’m only at the beginning stages of my career as a writer, and it’s a bit frightening to own up to a title that you believe you have not earned. But I went against that fear and just created the page. I don’t have many followers or likes yet. But that’s the least of my concerns because I feel good about making the decision to create my page. The rest will fall in its place with the help of God and a lot of hard work. Have a great day! Is there something that scares you? Even if it’s something as

Story short, I went against that fear and just created the page @proseana. I don’t have many followers or likes yet. But that’s the least of my concerns because I feel good about making my new page. The rest will fall in its place with the help of God and a lot of hard work.

Is there something that scares you? Even if it’s something as simple as putting up a Facebook page?

Thank you, and have a great day!

https://www.facebook.com/proseana/

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The Auto Mechanics of Life

Hi, so recently I posted on my facebook about how I dislike talking about cars. My sister and I noticed how deeply concentrated men are when they are fixing or cleaning their cars or bikes. My dad sometimes tries to tell me about what he’s doing to his cars, and I’ve had a few friends who talk about their mechanics too. To me, I just feel most women do not care about the particulars or mechanics of a car. I know there are women who like it, and that’s fine. But most of us don’t.

It made me think that men (okay, I know some women do too) take the time to know their cars. They read the manuals, look up videos, consult with friends, and spend hours or weeks (months even) to try and fix a problem. Every car or bike is different. They don’t consult just with anyone about their cars/bikes. They reach out to those who are experts or have experience on the field. It would be a sacrilege to consult just to anyone about it, right? Right, because they can ruin the precious car/bike/truck. I added truck this time. So every time they start a project, they have to begin all over to truly understand the car/bike/ truck.

We women, or anyone for that matter, also take the time to the same on any given topic or hobby. Then I thought, imagine we took the same amount of dedication to get to know a person. At many times, I’ve noticed couples consult friends or family members about relationships. First, how successful are these people in their relationships? If your friend gives you a toxic advice, why would you consider it? You wouldn’t even consider it for your car! “My precious.” sunset-1281676_1920

Depending on the relationship, is your friend loyal and respectful? I think it’s best to consult experts, people with experience, and or successful relationships that show genuine love and that have endured struggles.

Going back to the car part: like your car (or any given hobby or the like) wouldn’t you want to ask advice from people who can guide you to a healthier relationship? Why not dedicate time to understand the ins and outs of a person? Why is okay to dedicate time to an object, and yet getting to know a person is such a hassle?

The same is true of any relationship: love interest, friendship, or family. Why it is that we don’t dedicate quality time to a person? If a car is that complicated, I can imagine a human being is even more challenging. I suppose as long as it’s not talking back, we’re okay with that challenge.

It’s also true that we can’t dedicate quality time to everyone. But if we care about those we love and who are supposed to be on top of our priority list, maybe we should dedicate hours, weeks, months, and years to truly appreciate them. And the same could be said of our passions, goals, and dreams. Everything needs time and dedication. I suppose it’s easier said than done. Nonetheless, maybe we can all try to be the auto mechanics of life.

 

©Ana P. Rose & Anaprose 2017.

The Lecturer & the Bragger

Change it’s easy once we make the decision to do so. It’s a tedious and slow process. But as long as we take as step each day toward the goals we have in mind, we feel better. The thing about change is that we first have to convince the mind that we can. After we reach that stage, we have to convince the rest of the world of our change. What I mean by that is that we can’t escape the eyes of our family, friends, or colleagues. They’ve all made up their minds about who we are.

And for some reason, sometimes people cling on to the negative aspects you more than the good ones. For instance, if you are lazy, a procrastinator, an angry person, forgetful, negligent or whatever that negative trait may be, they cling on to that. You may be on a great character streak. But as soon as you fall into your old habits, due to a momentary of obvious humanness, it almost makes them giddy, like “I knew it.” Sometimes our closest people don’t encourage positive behavior. They see the bad, and they grab onto that like ticks. On the contrary, when they see a positive behavior, they keep you under scrutiny with a watchful eye–perhaps waiting to see when will you slip.

Another aspect of change is that you want to share it with everyone. Because, finally, you have this understanding that it’s okay to be in a slump. It’s okay to embrace the negative parts of your life to turn them into something better because we don’t have to stay stuck. However, I’ve learned that we’re all on our own paths. And unless someone solicits your advice, it’s probably best not to give it. The reason I state this it’s because, recently I’ve heard the following, “You’re just going to give me one of your lectures,” or that I’m bragging about it. I honestly didn’t mean any harm. Perhaps my approach was wrong. Or perchance, it wasn’t.

Then I started wondering: Okay, so these people who are successful are perceived as “lecturers,” or as “braggers,” or is it okay for them to do it because they have reached the peak of their success; therefore they’re worthy of respect? Or is it because they are strangers, and they’re not me? Or I just completely suck at this. How can I emulate those motivational and inspiring people?

All in all, I just wanted to share something that I had learned. I wasn’t trying to be a motivation speaker. I wasn’t trying to lecture or brag. My point is, perhaps the path that we each walk enlightens us differently and at different times.

And here’s a video in case you’re interested in a “Wake Up!” video. 🙂

What is Writing?

What is writing? Certainly, it’s not an easy task. Also, many are under the impression that if you’re not writing an academic article or paper, that you’re just writing for fun. While that may be true in many cases, writing a book, a poem, a short story or the like can be tedious. For instance, creative writing isn’t as easy as it seems. It’s not impossible, but it’s not easy. You have to create a world that has to make sense. The writing itself, depending on the genre, contains so many rules. Some rules you can break, but others can tarnish your writing.

This brings me to my writing. If you follow me, you probably already know that I am writing a book. I have to admit the idea, to me, is crazy. I do feel many fears as I write it. But I’d like to write more details about my process when I am done with the book.

For now, I’m going through a roller coaster. I feel motivated and positive, and then I feel very doubtful about it. However, I’ve learned one thing about motivation, it doesn’t last. We can’t rely on our first initial love. What I mean is that we have to persevere and accept the responsibility to continue on even when we want to give up. Otherwise, we will keep starting over and over and never achieving success in anything that we do.

We can’t truly craft the art when we feel, “this isn’t good enough,” and then give up. When something isn’t good, we have two things to consider: One, we are our worst critics. Two, if it really isn’t as great, then work harder. Dedicate more time to your craft. Everything takes time.

So yes, I do want to give up at times. But I will not stop because I owe it to myself. I feel the same way about my exercise routine. The mind and body are similar in many ways, except the mind can take you from point A to B because your body is ready to give up when it reaches its limits. The mind takes over after your body feels tired. But, when the mind is tired, the body has to take over to give oxygen to your brain. It’s a nice combination. And of course, there are many other ways to give your mind a break.

What is your definition of writing? And or what are you writing? What have you written? Any suggestions for the rest of us? Post below. Thank you, and have a great day.

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©Ana P. Rose & Anaprose 2017.